This is a Boston man's "Missed Connections" post on Craigslist about a woman he met on New Year's Eve in 1972.
It was too beautiful not to share, and a great reminder that you never know why the people you meet are there... I
met you in the rain on the last day of 1972, the same day I resolved to kill myself. One week prior, at the behest of
Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger, I'd flown four B-52 sorties over Hanoi. I dropped forty-eight bombs. How many
homes I destroyed, how many lives I ended, I'll never know. But in the eyes of my superiors, I had served my
country honorably, and I was thusly discharged with such distinction. And so on the morning of that New Year's
Eve, I found myself in a barren studio apartment on Beacon and Hereford with a fifth of Tennessee rye and the pang
of shame permeating the recesses of my soul. When the bottle was empty, I made for the door and vowed, upon
returning, that I would retrieve the Smith & Wesson Model 15 from the closet and give myself the discharge I
deserved. I walked for hours. I looped around the Fenway before snaking back past Symphony Hall and up to Trinity
Church. Then I roamed through the Common, scaled the hill with its golden dome, and meandered into that
charming labyrinth divided by Hanover Street. By the time I reached the waterfront, a charcoal sky had opened and
a drizzle became a shower. That shower soon gave way to a deluge. While the other pedestrians darted for awnings
and lobbies, I trudged into the rain. I suppose I thought, or rather hoped, that it might wash away the patina of guilt
that had coagulated around my heart. It didn't, of course, so I started back to the apartment. And then I saw you.
You'd taken shelter under the balcony of the Old State House. You were wearing a teal ball gown, which appeared
to me both regal and ridiculous. Your brown hair was matted to the right side of your face, and a galaxy of freckles
dusted your shoulders. I'd never seen anything so beautiful. When I joined you under the balcony, you looked at me
with your big green eyes, and I could tell that you'd been crying. I asked if you were okay. You said you'd been
better. I asked if you'd like to have a cup of coffee. You said only if I would join you. Before I could smile, you
snatched my hand and led me on a dash through Downtown Crossing and into Neisner's. We sat at the counter of
that five and dime and talked like old friends. We laughed as easily as we lamented, and you confessed over pecan
pie that you were engaged to a man you didn't love, a banker from some line of Boston nobility. A Cabot, or maybe
a Chaffee. Either way, his parents were hosting a soirée to ring in the New Year, hence the dress. For my part, I
shared more of myself than I could have imagined possible at that time. I didn't mention Vietnam, but I got the
sense that you could see there was a war waging inside me. Still, your eyes offered no pity, and I loved you for it.
After an hour or so, I excused myself to use the restroom. I remember consulting my reflection in the mirror.
Wondering if I should kiss you, if I should tell you what I'd done from the cockpit of that bomber a week before, if I
should return to the Smith & Wesson that waited for me. I decided, ultimately, that I was unworthy of the
resuscitation this stranger in the teal ball gown had given me, and to turn my back on such sweet serendipity would
be the real disgrace. On the way back to the counter, my heart thumped in my chest like an angry judge's gavel, and
a future—our future—flickered in my mind. But when I reached the stools, you were gone. No phone number. No
note. Nothing. As strangely as our union had begun, so too had it ended. I was devastated. I went back to Neisner's
every day for a year, but I never saw you again. Ironically, the torture of your abandonment seemed to swallow my
self-loathing, and the prospect of suicide was suddenly less appealing than the prospect of discovering what had
happened in that restaurant. The truth is I never really stopped wondering. I'm an old man now, and only recently
did I recount this story to someone for the first time, a friend from the VFW. He suggested I look for you on
Facebook. I told him I didn't know anything about Facebook, and all I knew about you was your first name and that
you had lived in Boston once. And even if by some miracle I happened upon your profile, I'm not sure I would
recognize you. Time is cruel that way. This same friend has a particularly sentimental daughter. She's the one who
led me here to Craigslist and these Missed Connections. But as I cast this virtual coin into the wishing well of the
cosmos, it occurs to me, after a million what-ifs and a lifetime of lost sleep, that our connection wasn't missed at
all. You see, in these intervening forty-two years I've lived a good life. I've loved a good woman. I've raised a good
man. I've seen the world. And I've forgiven myself. And you were the source of all of it. You breathed your spirit
into my lungs one rainy afternoon, and you can't possibly imagine my gratitude. I have hard days, too. My wife
passed four years ago. My son, the year after. I cry a lot. Sometimes from the loneliness, sometimes I don't know
why. Sometimes I can still smell the smoke over Hanoi. And then, a few dozen times a year, I'll receive a gift. The
sky will glower, and the clouds will hide the sun, and the rain will begin to fall. And I'll remember. So wherever
you've been, wherever you are, and wherever you're going, know this: you're with me still. Source: Sunny Skyz via Idealist Revolution -
Source: Sunny Skyz via Idealist Revolutio
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