At some point, you reach an age where you can’t possibly, even if you tried, give any less of a fuck. You’re done with worrying about what others think, adhering to stupid-ass rules prescribed by stupid ass-people, and you realize who you want in your inner circle and who you want banished forever and ever. It’s not that you’ve become a cantankerous bitch in your older years, but just that you’ve lived long enough to be fucking over pretty much everything. In other words, you simply have no more fucks to give.
Are you to that point in your life? Have you been fortunate enough to have reached the ultimate status of having no more fucks to give? If so, then you’ll know these 13 fucks you stop giving to be true.
1. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS. Gah! Other people’s opinions, especially when they’re about you, should be moot once you’ve become a grown woman. It’s when you let the opinions of others dictate your life that your life becomes a cesspool of negativity and a total waste.
2. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT RIDICULOUS FASHION RULES. No white after Labor Day? Fuck it. No horizontal stripes unless you’re a size 0? Fuck that fucking shit. No bikini or mini-skirt after 30? In the immortal words of Bikini Kill, suck my left one. Seriously.
3. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT YOUR EX. You broke up for a reason and that reason is probably somewhere between him being awful and him being the worst, so it’s your job not to give any fucks about him or what he might think of you.
4. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT BEING POLITE IN BED. As a grown ass woman, you’re not just a walk-on in your bedroom, but the fucking star. If you don’t get what you want and how you want it, you throw being polite out the window and woman-the-fuck-up about it.
5. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT BITING YOUR TONGUE. While in your earlier years some situations may have called for biting one’s tongue, it’s time to fuck that. If someone says or does something that pisses you off or disrespects you in any way, then speak up. Even if that person is your boss.
6. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT ENDING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS. Some people are bad for us! Some people, even if they’re not cognizant of it, are horrific, toxic influences in our lives. You have no more fucks to give them or what your life will be like without them – it won’t be a loss, that’s for sure.
7. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT YOUR MISTAKES. Your mistakes do not define you; they’re merely pieces in your life that have made you who you are. That is all. Mistakes do not hold you back, do not open doors to judgment, or ruin your life. They’re necessary obstacles and not only do you not give a fuck about them, but you’re practically grateful for them.
8. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT FITTING IN. Some people spend their whole lives trying to fit in only to realize that those who want to belong are just fucking boring! Why would anyone want to be another sheep among millions of sheep? No thanks. Fly your freak flag and roll solo.
9. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA. In some not so breaking new, social media is not real life. People “liking” your tweet or “unfriending” you on Facebook is not something to get your panties in a twist over. In other words? You have no fucks to give on this front.
10. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT HAVING THE “PERFECT” BODY. You have the perfect body for YOU and that’s all that matters. Now reach for those Doritos and order another pizza, for fuck’s sake woman!
11. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT STATUS SYMBOLS. Owning a Louis Vuitton bag or only wearing Chanel makeup is not going to make you a better person. Also, who even knows if that mascara is Dior or fucking Maybelline?
12. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN’T CONTROL. There will always be things that are out of your control, and when you quit giving a fuck about them you’ll finally feel free.
13. GIVING A FUCK ABOUT NOT GIVING A FUCK. In life, you need to choose your battles. You need to decide what deserves your fucks and what doesn’t. When you give a fuck, give it 150 percent, when you don’t also give it 150 percent. You should never half-ass anything, especially your fucks.